Well, that was obvious!
Brace yourself for the obvious!
Spilling the beans without the mess. I'm the master of obvious one-liners!
Keeping it simple with the obvious!
I'm not forgetful, I just have a photographic memory with low battery.
I'm not a shopaholic, I'm helping the economy.
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
My jokes are as clear as crystal.
I'm not clumsy, I'm just testing gravity... a lot.
I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right... loudly.
My life is like a romantic comedy, minus the romance and just the comedy.
I'm not weird, I'm limited edition.
I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already!
I finally realized that I'm addicted to air. I guess I'm just an airhead.
Nothing but the truth, folks!
Obvious, but still funny!
My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.
Obvious, yet surprisingly amusing!
Wit is the key, I think, to anybody's heart. Show me the person who doesn't like to laugh and I'll show you a person with a toe tag.
Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.
I'm not late, I just wanted to make a fashionable entrance.
File under 'Duh!'
Reading my to-do list like it's the most entertaining thing on the planet.
I don't need anger management. I just need people to stop pissing me off.
I speak fluent movie quotes. My life is a cinematic masterpiece!
I think the next best thing to solving a problem is finding some humor in it.
It's like stating the sky is blue!
I never forget a face, but in your case, I'll be glad to make an exception.
I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!
Singing in the shower because life is too short for bad acoustics. Bathroom concert!
I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.
I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
I'm not short, I'm just more down to earth than most people.
I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
If I had a dollar for every time I got distracted, I wish I had a puppy.
Just stating the obvious, as always.
I'm not a morning person. I'm not an afternoon person either. I'm more of a whenever-the-coffee-kicks-in person.
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
My jokes are like WiFi signals - sometimes strong, sometimes gone in a blink.
In case you missed the memo... it's obvious!
The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven.
Captain Obvious strikes again!
You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand.
My bed and I have an unbreakable bond. Separation anxiety at its finest!
No rocket science here, folks!
Parallel parking is just my way of giving cars a cozy hug. Tight spaces, no problem!
Can't argue with that level of obviousness!
I don't snore, I dream I'm a motorcycle.
Laughter is an instant vacation.
Obvious humor for the win!
If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you.
I'm writing a book on reverse psychology. Please don't buy it.
I put the 'elusive' in 'elusive goals.' Catch me if you can!
Humor is reason gone mad.
Life is like a sewer... what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
My snacks go straight from the pantry to my heart. The love affair is real!
Because obvious jokes are my specialty!
A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode.
A day without laughter is a day wasted.
I don't need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.