I don't snore, I dream I'm a motorcycle.
Serious faces not permitted. Bring on the smiles!
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
Embrace the chaos and laugh it off.
I'm not clumsy, it's just the floor hates me, the tables and chairs are bullies, and the wall gets in my way.
In a world full of seriousness, be the comic relief.
Fueling up on giggles and guffaws.
Trying to be normal, but I tripped over my own quirkiness.
I'm not lazy, I'm just conserving energy for when I really need it.
I'm not lazy, I'm on energy-saving mode.
I'm not ignoring you, I'm just prioritizing my sanity.
Laughs guaranteed. Satisfaction guaranteed.
I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.
I don't need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off.
Seriousness strictly prohibited in this zone.
I'm not addicted to coffee, we're just in a committed relationship.
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
I'm not awkward, I'm just practicing my dance moves.
Laughing burns calories. Pass the jokes!
Happiness is homemade. Sprinkle some humor!
I'm not messy, I'm just creatively organized.
Spreading smiles one joke at a time.
I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.
Inhale laughter, exhale joy. Repeat.
Spreading laughter like confetti.
Dare to laugh louder. Spread the cheer!
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
Smile now, laugh later.
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
Creating memories through laughter and funny moments!
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
Rolling on the floor laughing! Join the fun.
Running late is my cardio.
I'm not always late, but when I am, I make it fashionable.
Spreading joy one laugh at a time!
I'm not short, I'm fun-sized.
I put the 'pro' in procrastination.
Elevating vibes with a touch of humor!
Stay funny, stay fabulous.
I'm not indecisive, I'm selective about my choices.
When in doubt, just laugh it out!
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
More giggles, less stress. It's a lifestyle choice.
I'm not a player, I'm the game.
I'm not clumsy, it's just the floor hates me, the tables and chairs are bullies, and the wall gets in my way.
My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.
When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. They won’t expect it back.
I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.
I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.
Reality called, so I hung up.
Spreading smiles like confetti!
The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
I don't need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
I'm not short, I'm just concentrated awesome.
Humor me, I'm feeling funny today.
Tickle your funny bone with this dose of humor.
I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode.
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are still under construction.
I don't have a dirty mind, I have a sexy imagination.
I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Let's LOL together. It's contagious!
Life's better when you're laughing uncontrollably!
Funny bones ready for a workout!
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
I'm not antisocial, I'm selectively social.
Keep calm and laugh on.
A day without laughter is a day wasted.
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
Because laughter is the best medicine!
Life's too short for a serious face.
I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.
No such thing as too much laughter!
I'm not clumsy. Things just have a habit of getting in my way.
Life's too short to be serious. Laugh it out!
I'm not weird, I'm just more fun than people can handle.
I'm not late, everyone else is just early.
Seriousness left at the door. Let the laughter in!
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
I am so poor that I can't even pay attention.
I don't need a friend who changes when I change and who nods when I nod; my shadow does that much better.
Seriousness is overrated. Let's laugh instead!
Serious about laughter, not much else!
I'm not old, I'm just getting more experienced at being young.
I need a six month holiday, twice a year.
I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
Keep your humor intact, it's a survival skill.