I'm not a shopaholic, I'm helping the economy.
I'm not clumsy, I'm just testing gravity... a lot.
I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right... loudly.
My life is like a romantic comedy, minus the romance and just the comedy.
I finally realized that I'm addicted to air. I guess I'm just an airhead.
I'm not late, I just wanted to make a fashionable entrance.
I'm not short, I'm just more down to earth than most people.
I don't snore, I dream I'm a motorcycle.
I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode.
I don't need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.