I'm not forgetful, I just have a photographic memory with low battery.

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

I'm not weird, I'm limited edition.

I don't need anger management. I just need people to stop pissing me off.

I'm not a morning person. I'm not an afternoon person either. I'm more of a whenever-the-coffee-kicks-in person.

Hashtags for Captions on Obvious One Liners

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