I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
I'm not shy; I'm holding back my awesomeness so I don't intimidate you.
The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago, it was grass.'
I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.