Trying to be an adult, but my inner child keeps coming out to play. 🧒🏻🎈
If laughter is the best medicine, call me your doctor! 😷😂
If you can't laugh at yourself, call me—I'll do it for you.
My room is not messy, it's an obstacle course designed to keep me fit.
Laughing at my own jokes because I'm hilarious like that. 😂
Life's too short to be serious all the time. Find the humor in every moment.
My wallet is like an onion. Opening it makes me cry.
In a world full of trends, be a classic funny soul. 😄
When life gives you Monday, dip it in glitter and sparkle all day. ✨💫
The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven.
Eating snacks like there's no tomorrow because, snacks! 🍿🤤
A day without laughter is a day wasted. Let's not waste any!
I run on caffeine, sarcasm, and inappropriate thoughts.
Life's too short not to burst into laughter every chance you get.
When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.
My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. I call it lunch.
Your time is limited, don't waste it living someone else's life.
I told my computer I needed a break, now it won't stop sending me vacation ads.
Stepping into Monday like... Wait, it's only Monday? 😅🚶♂️
My phone's battery lasts longer than my relationships.
Turning ordinary moments into extraordinary laughs. 😜
I don't need anger management, I need people to stop annoying me.
Just another day being my hilariously awesome self.
I don't need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
Who needs a gym when you have a comedy show? 🏋️♂️😂
I'm not shy, I'm just holding back my awesomeness so I don't intimidate you.
Me trying to take a cute selfie but ending up looking like a potato. 🥔😅
Just dropped my new single. It's called 'I'll get out of bed in 5 more minutes.' ⏰😴
They say laughter is the best medicine. I'm here to overdose!
My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.
Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet. No one really knows how. 🛏️😅
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.
Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.
Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand.
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
Current mood: Contemplating if I should go for a run or take a nap. 🏃♂️💤
I'm not procrastinating, I'm giving myself time to formulate a genius plan. 🤔💡
That awkward moment when you're wearing Nike and you can't do it. 😂👟
Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.
Find joy in the little things, like a good joke. 😊😂
Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans.
Friday night: Making memories and cracking jokes! 🌙😆
Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it.
Decided to take a break from being an adult today. Best decision ever. 🙌😆
Life's too short to be serious. Let's embrace the funny! 😅
Laughter is timeless, imagination has no age, and dreams are forever.