I'm not saying I'm Wonder Woman, I'm just saying no one has ever seen me and Wonder Woman in the same room together.
I asked the librarian if the library had books on paranoia. She whispered, 'They're right behind you.'
The only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle.
I'm not clumsy, it's just the floor hates me, the tables and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.
Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts.
My bed and I have a special relationship. We're perfect for each other, but we just can't seem to commit.
I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right in a way that everyone else can understand.
Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.
You have within you right now, everything you need to deal with whatever the world can throw at you.
Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not, and a sense of humor was provided to console him for what he is.
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested, and the frog dies of it.
A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.