I'm writing a term paper on a subject I know nothing about. I need three more quotes by tomorrow.
I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia. She whispered, 'They're right behind you.'
I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago, it was grass.'
Life's too short to be serious all the time. Let's make every moment count with some laughter.
There's no better feeling than when you make someone laugh so hard, they can't breathe.
I'm so optimistic, I'd go after Moby Dick in a rowboat and take the tartar sauce with me.