My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. 🛌✨😅
I don't trip, I do random gravity checks. 🚶♂️🌌
Why fall in love when you can fall asleep? 💤❤️
My wallet is like an onion, opening it makes me cry. 🧅😭
I'm not lazy, I'm on energy-saving mode. ⚡😜
I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right. 💁♂️😆
Stressed, blessed, and coffee obsessed. ☕🙏😅
I'm not clumsy, everything just gets in my way. 🤷♂️😅
Life is short, make every hair flip count. 💁♀️💅
When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye. 🍋😂
I'm not weird, I'm limited edition. 🦄😜
Life is short, smile while you still have teeth. 😁🦷
I’m not lazy, I’m just very relaxed. 😌💤
I like hashtags because they look like waffles. 🥞😂
I don't need anger management, I need people to stop pissing me off. 😡😂