I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve it through not dying. Woody Allen

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. Mark Twain

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. Lana Turner

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. Emo Philips

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the heck she is. Ellen DeGeneres

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it. Terry Pratchett

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