I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

If at first, you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you. Steven Wright

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. Rodney Dangerfield

I am so broke, I can't even afford to pay attention.

I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done. Steven Wright

The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets. Al McGuire

The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.

The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces. Will Rogers

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying. Oscar Wilde

I don't need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.

I don't need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.

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