I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. Emo Philips

I'm not clumsy, It's just the floor hates me, the tables and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. Mark Twain

Hashtags for Captions on Bestie Banter

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