I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.

I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants. A. Whitney Brown

I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.

I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early. Charles Lamb

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. Mitch Hedberg

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

I intend to live forever. So far, so good. Steven Wright

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. Steve Martin

Hashtags for Captions on PMP Chuckles

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