Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
Happiness is having a rare steak, a bottle of whiskey, and a dog to eat the rare steak.
I feel bad for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
I like to have a martini, two at the very most. After three I'm under the table, after four I'm under my host.