Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose.
My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered.
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.
Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick.
I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game: it's called an eraser.