A woman drove me to drink, and I hadn't even the courtesy to thank her.
I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy.
Cocktails are a ritual. Embrace the process and savor the result.
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
Cocktails may not be the answer, but they're worth a shot.
One martini is all right. Two are too many, and three are not enough.
I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
A cocktail done right can really show your guests that you care.
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
Happiness is...finding two olives in your martini when you’re hungry.