The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice cream.
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
I can resist everything except temptation.
I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.
I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
I never forget a face, but in your case, I'll be glad to make an exception.
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
If at first, you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
I'm not sure if I have free time or if I'm forgetting everything.
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you.