I may not be perfect, but at least I'm not fake.
I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.
Life is short, smile while you still have teeth.
I'm not lazy, I'm on energy-saving mode.
Just another day in paradise... with Wi-Fi!
I don't need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
If I were funny, I would have a good Instagram caption.
The older I get, the earlier it gets late.