If there's not a snack table, I'm leaving. Sorry, not sorry.
Stepping onto the red carpet like I own the place. Well, at least until they ask for my ticket.
When they ask me if I've prepared a speech, I just wink and say, 'Always.'
The only thing getting me through this is the promise of free food afterwards.
Don't mind me, just rehearsing my gracious loser face in the mirror.
Just here for the snacks and the occasional acceptance speech.
Trying to act surprised when they call my name like I haven't been practicing my shocked face all week.
They should give out awards for 'Best Performance Pretending to Listen to Long Speeches.' I'd win every time.
Thinking about wearing sunglasses indoors to block out the haters. Or just the bright lights.