My jokes are like toddlers - unpredictable, sometimes funny, and occasionally embarrassing.
My stand-up career is like a GPS with a sense of humor, always taking unexpected turns.
They say laughter is the best medicine, but I'm pretty sure they haven't tried chocolate yet.
You can't deny laughter; when it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants.
Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions. No dignity, no learning, no force of character, can make any stand against good wit.
Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not, and a sense of humor was provided to console him for what he is.
My comedy career is a lot like a pizza - cheesy, sometimes saucy, but always a crowd-pleaser.
My comedy style is a mix of sarcasm and chocolate - sweet, but with a hint of bitterness.
I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.
Tried telling a joke about time travel, but my audience is still stuck in the present.