I'm not clumsy, the floor just hates me.
I'm not weird, I'm limited edition.
I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.
I don't need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.
I'm not short, I'm just more down to earth than most people.
I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode.