I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
I'm not lazy, I'm in energy-saving mode.
Just because you're awake doesn't mean you should stop dreaming. Or napping.
I'm not clumsy. It's just the floor hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.
I put the 'me' in 'awesome.' Actually, I put it in 'MEow-some.'
If I were funny, I'd have a good Instagram caption.
When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.
My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.
I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right. Always.