I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.
I put my phone in airplane mode, but it didn't fly. Worst transformer ever!
I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won't stop sending me vacation ads.
I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!
My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I was supposed to do.
Parallel lines have so much in common. It's a shame they'll never meet.
When life gives you lemons, make orange juice and leave everyone wondering how you did it.
I started a band called 999 Megabytes. We haven't got a gig yet.