I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
I'm not clumsy, I'm just on a mission to rearrange the world.
My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.
I'm not lazy, I'm in energy-saving mode.
I'd like to thank Netflix for completing my goals list.
When life gives you lemons, make sure they're organic.
I don't need an inspirational quote. I need coffee.
My room isn't messy, it's an obstacle course designed to keep me fit.
I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.
I'm not short, I'm concentrated awesome!