I'm on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.
I'm not clumsy. The floor just hates me.
When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.
I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.
I don't need an excuse to enjoy chocolate. Chocolate is the excuse.
I don't need an inspirational quote. I need coffee.