Golf is the perfect excuse for a long walk interrupted by periodic tantrums.
My golf swing is like a suitcase - it's always better when packed properly.
Golf is the only sport where you can yell 'fore!' and everyone thinks you're polite.
I play golf to burn off the crazy.
Golfers don't retire, they take longer breaks between rounds.
Life is short, grip it and rip it!
Golf is the art of trying to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose.