I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.

I'm not a player, I just crush a lot... of candy.

Life is short, smile while you still have teeth.

I don't need anger management, I need people to stop irritating me.

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

I'm not short, I'm concentrated awesome!

I'm not clumsy, it's just the floor hates me.

I'm not procrastinating, I'm doing side quests.

I'm not lazy, I'm in energy-saving mode.

When life gives you lemons, trade them for coffee.

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