Marriage is about finding that one special person you can annoy for the rest of your life.
Marriage is when a man and woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.
Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown male child who cannot be handled by his parents anymore.
Marriage is a workshop where the husband works and the wife shops.
Marriage is an endless sleepover with your favorite weirdo.
A good marriage is one where each partner secretly suspects they got the better deal.
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.