If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you.
I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
I'm an idealist. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way.
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
I never forget a face, but in your case, I'll be glad to make an exception.
When I was a boy, I laid in my twin-sized bed and wondered where my brother was.
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.