I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable.
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
The first glass is for myself, the second for my friends, the third for good humor, and the fourth for my enemies.
One martini is all right. Two are too many, and three are not enough.
Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.
Alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, may produce all the effects of drunkenness.
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.
Drinking is not a solution, unless we're talking about alcohol.
I drink Champagne when I win, to celebrate... and I drink Champagne when I lose, to console myself.
I drink to make other people more interesting.
I feel bad for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
I would give all my fame for a pot of ale and safety.
I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.
I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
In wine, there is wisdom, in beer, there is freedom, in water, there is bacteria.