I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.

I'm not as think as you drunk I am.

Drink triple, see double, act single.

Cheers to making poor life choices!

I don't need a therapist, I need a bartender.

I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by life... and maybe a little whiskey.

Alcohol may not solve your problems, but neither will water or milk.

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