I'm not weird, I'm a limited edition.
I'm not ignoring you, I'm just prioritizing myself.
I'm not crazy, I prefer the term mentally hilarious.
If you're waiting for me to care, I hope you brought something to eat.
I'm not lazy, I'm just in energy-saving mode.
I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.
I'm not short, I'm fun-sized.