If I had taken my doctor's advice and quit smoking when he advised me to, I wouldn't have lived to go to his funeral.
I smoke cigars occasionally, but only as a pastime, not as a habit. I'm in the hospital business, not the cigar business.
Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
I drink a great deal. I sleep a little, and I smoke cigar after cigar. That is why I am in two-hundred-percent form.
A cigar ought not to be smoked solely with the mouth, but with the hand, the eyes, and with the spirit.
Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar.
A cigar is like a mistress; if you are caught with it, you will have to face the consequences.
A good cigar is like a beautiful chick with a great body who also knows the American League box scores.
A fine cigar is just like a woman. If you don't light it up just right and suck on it with a certain frequency, it will go out on you.