Running late is my cardio. 💃⏰
I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right. 💁♂️💬
Just because I can't sing doesn't stop me from being the star of my shower concerts! 🚿🎤
I don't need an inspirational quote. I need coffee. ☕️
I'm not lazy, I'm on energy-saving mode. 😴💡
Trying to be a morning person, but I'm not a mourning person. ☀️😴
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade... then find someone who has vodka and have a party! 🍋🎉
I'm not clumsy, I'm just gravitationally challenged. 🤷♂️⚠️
Eating pizza alone counts as a balanced diet, right? 🍕🤔
Life is short, smile while you still have teeth. 😁🦷